Miss Uganda winner was known days before?

Hours before the Miss Uganda 2007 ceremony began at Serena Hotel on Saturday at 8 p.m., I rang a female friend whom I wanted to attend the pageant with and she told me she was no longer interested…
She mocked: “I can’t go for Miss Already Known…” meaning that she already knew the winner before the event.
“I have a cousin who is contesting and she called me and said they were just going to catwalk for exposure but Monica Kasyate is going to win,” she told me, “Mbu her mother bribed the organisers.”
And believe me, this friend of mine whose both names start with A, told me this story 10 hours before the event kick-started.
But maybe Kasyate was outstanding in the camp and so the other candidates just predicted right.
But then, I remember part of the audience also protested the judges’ decision by yelling “Aaah, cheats, it can’t be…”
Anyway, the reason why I decided not to write this before the contest is that I didn’t want to sabotage this contest which has been on and off and it is for the reason that I’m saying, I personally I’m convinced by the results.
Neither ugly nor beautiful is what Uganda wants but an intelligent, well-mannered and cultured woman and if Kasyate is that woman, then we better accept the results.
Actually, Solaya Zalwango and whoever helped her to organise this event deserve big kudos for such a magnificent yet brief and entertaining event.
Otherwise watch this space for my problems with the pageant.

Straka the “Baibe” molester!

GOOD ARE THE GONE DAYS: Straka and ex-boyf Oimuke

How do you solve a problem like Straka Mwezi?
...Who knows?
I’m not talking about her misconduct at work that gets her sacked every two months and neither am I willing to discuss the alleged rent defaulting issue but today I’m going to focus on one area of her life...The love stuff.
Since her split with father of her son, Charles Oimuke, men have drifted in and out of Straka’s life.
And now I’m just wondering if the sea of amore has worked its wonders for her and of all things she has decided to spend oodles of time with young boys.
I myself have seen two different boys with Straka in her Pajero and I was wondering, ‘are they her boyfriends? Singers in Straka’s band, Bodyguards? Or a wee bit of the whole thing?’
However, before Rafshizzle made the final assessment, I landed on a notorious e-mail identified like this:
From: PAINFULL BUT TRUE [mailto:this_shud_stop@yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, July 23, 2007 3:46 PM
To: Editorial
Subject: STRAKA THE CHILD MOLESTER!!!!

And here I reproduce the letter:

HI MONITOR.... R U WILLIN 2 HELP US STOP THIS WOMAN FROM DEFILING OUR YOUNG BOYS?
WE'VE BEEN SEEING HER DO THIS FOR TWO YEARS NOW!
THE LATEST IS A YOUNG MUSICIAN WHO STAYS NEAR IN NSAMBYA WITH US.
HE HAS JUST TURNED 18! IT’S COZ OF STRAKA'S (STRAKA MWEZI) WOES WITH EMPTY PROMISES OF FAME AND FORTUNE THAT THIS BOY HAS EVEN DROPPED OUT OF SENIOR 4!
HE SHOULD BE DOIN HIS EXAMS THIS YR!
THIS IS NOT GOSSIP FOR WE KNOW THA BOY AND FAMILY PERSONALLY. WE’VE ALSO KNOWN THA FORMER VICTIM PERSONALLY.
WE STAY IN NSAMBYA RAILWAY, AS YOU MAY KNOW THESE FAMILIES ARE NOT WELL OFF FINANCIALLY.... THAT’S WHY SHE TARGETS OUR BOYS COZ SHE TAKES THEM TO CLUBS AND BUYS THEM VERY CHEAP STUFF!
PLEASE WE NEED TO STOP THIS PREDATOR. ARE YOU WILLING TO HELP US NSAMBYA RESIDENTS?
WE KNOW YOU MUST HAVE CONTACTS WITH OTHER NEWSPAPER PEOPLE WHO CAN HELP!
IT’S TOO MUCH COZ THESE KIDS HAVE EVEN GONE TO THA EXTENT OF REBEELLIN AGAINST THEIR PARENTS!
WE NEED YOUR HELP!
THE CURRENT VICTIM IS SOOKA CYRUS (Cyrus Sooka)…TO PROVE OUR POINT THIS IS HIS NUMBER 752 999 739.... CALL HIM AND ASK HIM ABOUT STRAKA.... HE WILL EITHER DENY OR CLAIM THAT SHE IS HIS PROMOTER!
IT’S TWO MONTHS SO FAR SINCE SHE DERAILED HIM...BUT TO BE HONEST HAVE YOU SEEN CYRUS’S VIDEO ON WBS IF SHE IS HIS PROMOTER?
YES HE HAS A VIDEO! THE BOY NO LONGER SLEEPS AT HOME!
THE MOTHER IS STRUGLING BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW AND SHE CAN’T CONTROL HIM! HE’Z TURNED AGAINST HER!
SHE PAID FEES BUT HE REFUSED TO GO TO SCHOOL!
THE PAIN IS AFTER SHE ELOPES WITH ELDER MEN WHO DEFINITELY GIVE HER A LOT OF MONEY...SHE COMES TO OUR BOYS AND ABUSES THEM...ARE OUR BOYS SAFE???
WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS???

Now this is very Cyrus (sorry, very serious)!
Disclaimer: I have published the letter verbatim and I’m only responsible for publishing it. Moreover, I did so for public interest, so, over to you madam Straka…
Hmm, I was wondering why was Straka spotted at a kids’ shop on Garden City the other day…kumbe, she heard boys’ pants were half-off!! I’m kidding, I mean the price…

Cleo is obsessed with journalism!

CAPTION: Cleo passes former group-mates Jackie and Helen

I think all kids are happy — it’s only when you grow up that you see what the world is really like. And please, you Obsessions girls should be seeking some advice from former member Cleopatra about how life is like when one leaves dancing for journalism.
Some of us have grown in it and we now know how to handle the pressure but I felt sorry for Cleo at the Blu*3 launch last week.
She wanted to chat with her pals but she couldn’t because she had to take photos. She raced around the whole place looking for good shots and probably nice stories as her former mates enjoyed the show.

Juliana the Diva!

CAPTION: Juliana and son Keron in their car

Give me a D! Give me an I! Give me a V! Give me an A!
Whoavyagot? Juliana Kanyomozi, that’s who.
The syrupy-voiced songstress is renowned for taking a pride in her appearance as much as her voice, and for her outrageous demands.
But it seems she has changed and yes, she has changed for the better…
People have decided to forgive her of the pompous character ever since she declared to have dropped it and now they love her with all their hearts.
At the Blu*3 Burn album launch at Lugogo, the singer pulled off a massive performance with her new songs including Kanyimbe and the whole audience went wild---fireworks!!!
Just think of what would go well with massive cheers---Juliana went down on her knees and emotionally thanked the audience for the “relentless” support.
And if truth were told, she stole the show! Nobody else measured up to her as far as that night’s performances are concerned.
Little wonder, emcee JKazoora announced her as “former Female Artiste of the Year who will---this year---become the first female artiste to win Artiste of the Year award…”

Hey you, don’t kiss paintings!

CAPTION: CY Twombly's painting

This is not a message from ministry of health, so don’t even think that there is a disease in paintings if you kissed them but I just found a story on yahoo and I thought that it would be good to share with you.
As reported on yahoo website:
MARSEILLE, France - A woman has been arrested on suspicion of kissing a painting by American artist Cy Twombly and smudging the bone-white canvas with her lipstick, French judicial officials said Saturday.
Police said they arrested the woman after she kissed the work on Thursday. She is to be tried in a court in the southern city of Avignon on Aug. 16 for “damage to a work of art,” judicial officials said.
The painting, which is worth an estimated $2 million, was on display at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Avignon. It is part of an exhibition slated to run at the museum through Sept. 30. Officials did not provide further details on the painting.
Twombly is known for his abstract paintings combining painting and drawing techniques, repetitive lines and the use of graffiti, letters and words.
Born in Lexington, Va., in 1928, Twombly has lived in Italy for nearly a half- century. He won the prestigious Golden Lion award at the Venice Biennale in 2001.(Rafshizzle): so before you kiss any painting, please first think twice!

Humphrey is finally nostalgic

“East or West, home is best…” and Jose Chameleone’s elder brother and former manager Humphrey Mayanja knows too.
Humphrey left Uganda heartbroken following a break up with his wife and brother Chameleone.
It seemed like the end of life for him after he fought with his wife late last year followed by a chuck by Chameleone just two weeks later.
And the desperate Humphrey flew to London for kyeyo and sworn to return to Uganda after more than six years, however, it seems he is eventually nostalgic just after one year in UK.
And Rafshizzle can reveal to you that the brother will be touching on his mother soil come next month.
In an SMS sent to me Hum who owns a phone-repairing shop on Ivory Plaza said: “Ma men, I’m coming home soon. Am sending all to home…I will be there next month.”
Of course we were talking about a different topic but never trust Rafshizzle to keep hushed on any newsworthy bit.

Elvis, who dat gal?

SHE'Z HOT!: Elvis seems to say

Amongst all the rain, there was some sunshine in Silk Royale during the MTV VJ search competition last week.
Don’t get lost pals…
I mean, girls came in big numbers (like rain) but then there was a shining star (call her a girl if you wish).
And it was DJ RS Elvis who brought it along to the nightclub.
Yep, he (sorry she) certainly brightened things up...
I mean this in the nicest possible way, because man, I was kind of jealous for the first time; I mean, she is not the kind of girl you would be happy to see going with another man who is not yourself.
Well, if I say the words, striking fresh skin, sexy eyes, curvaceous body, pain-killing smile, arresting height and a complete beauty, perhaps you will begin to get the idea.
But don’t take my word for it, you can see the photo and also judge for yourself.
And please don’t ask me for her address, Elvis knows better…his number is…wapi, go to Radio One and ask for him but first make sure she isn’t his!
Otherwise, over to you Elvis…

Namayanja is “angrily” preggie

CAPTION: Camera-aware Namayanja at Mayinja's launch.

Call me a serious journalist who should be chasing stories like “Chogm meeting postponed,” but I just love to watch women in maternity dresses. Especially if they are VIPs in the country.
And I believe some of you also love watching a pregnant woman’s technique, while I’m interested in knowing why their tummies are bulging...
How fortunate for me, then, that Sarah Namayanja came for Ronald Mayinja’s album launch at Hotel Africana last week.
Seated next to Kawempe South MP, Latif Sebaggala, Namayanja was in a white maternity that helped me a bit in knowing what had gone on with her life in recent months.
But just when I was about to call a pregnancy expert to explain to me, Namayanja herself let the cat out of the bag by screaming at journalists who were trying to take her photo as she walked past the swimming pool.
“You idiots…am I the first woman to get pregnant,” she screamed, “Shut your cameras up, you brats…”
I guess she will punch me if I ever mention that one of the Sebaggalas owns her baby.
You know, she works in the President’s office and she is a strong Movementist but the father of her baby is a brother of staunch DP members and he is also a DP.
Eh, what a combination…Naava-Sebaggala style!

Bobi closes Mary J depot?

CAPTION: Bobi and fiance Barbie at the show

I salute President Bobi Wine for one thing. He is one guy who picks something, popularises it and then he owns it and all people will start associating him with it.
Remember things like calypso dance becoming Bada dance and words like Kikomando, Kiwani, Taata W’abaana and the likes…
And now he has picked the late Kafeero’s song Dippo Nazzigala that he sings at every event these days. However, Bobi has replaced some words in the song.
For instance he says Essada (marijuana) instead of Waraji (as said by Kafeero).
He did the song at Ronald Mayinja’s launch last week and everyone was impressed when he included Chameleone’s name in the song.
He sang “…twali bamanyi okusinga ku sabba ssaba nga ne muzeeyi Mayanja omukwatako tumuggunda n’akimattira…” meaning we were strong guns in that whenever Mayanja attacked us, we would thump him seriously.
Chameleone’s real name is Mayanja.
No more debate!Except, did Bobi really close the Essada depot?

Tanzania cancels Real Madrid visit

CAPTION: Robinho's Real Madrid dodges Tanzania

I had just gotten bored of speculating how Dar es Salaam would look like when the champions of Spanish football Real Madrid visit.
But speaking remarkably candidly to Rafshizzle, one Tanzanian government official, only identified as Majumo, has cleared things up for me once and for all.
“The Real Madrid visit is no longer a real deal,” said Majumo.
He said Real Madrid wanted $6 million for their visit and the Tanzanian government couldn’t find any relevant reason for releasing such big bucks.
“We truly wanted to have them come down here to inspire our national team that is bidding for Africa Cup of Nations 2008 but their demands are too high,” he added. “$6 million is just allowance to the team but they also want good accommodation, top-class transport and things like that…”
This time I’m siding with Tanzanian government because these guys tend to be big-hearted but they love money even for the smallest things.
$6 million is a heck of money for a small country like Tanzania.
Ouch.

Babirye up against Father Musaala

This weekend will see two of the country’s top gospel singers battle it out for audience as they stage launches at different places though on the same dates. Judith Babirye of the chartbuster Beera Nange will be launching her latest album Yesu Asobola at Didi’s World (VIP show) on Saturday and at Nakivubo Stadium (family show) on Sunday.
And yet two-time Pam award-winner Father Anthony Musaala will launch his album Tuuli Mu Lugendo at Theatre La Bonita tonight before moving to Sharing Hall Nsambya on Sunday.
Both artistes will have their VIP shows go for Shs20,000 and the family concerts at Shs10,000.
A source told me both artistes are not at talking terms since Musaala believes in secular music, something that upsets Babirye to the limits.
The two along with Wilson Bugembe (who will curtain-raise for both) are regarded as the top three gospel artistes in the country currently.
At last year’s Pam awards Father Musaala beat Judith Babirye at the Best Gospel Artiste award, however, the latter claimed Best Gospel Single for her Beera Nange.
And Rafshizzle has learnt that they failed to agree to hold their shows on different days.
“They decided to go for a contest,” said the source.
May Jesus be with them?

A bum escape again!

CAPTION: Loketo Lee in Gulu last year (still waiting for Ethiopia photos)

Somebody had better call the bum police...
We have an escapee heading north of Uganda in a country called Ethiopia.
The suspect was encased in a pair of black trousers and belongs to a rough brother---actually this is not the first time the owner is letting his dog (sorry bum) out!
Think you can identify him and make the arrest yourself?
Don’t misuse your time guessing…it is Loketo Lee at it again.
Rafshizzle can exclusively reveal to you that Loketo stunned a full house audience in Addis Ababa last Sunday where he had gone to perform at an album launch.
A source said, “this time it was even worse than what you saw in Gulu last year…Loketo undressed up to his final underpants.” “Even his thing was protruding through the underwear but surprisingly ladies applauded him and they were all dying to touch him after the show.”
Hmm, I have lost words because much as it stinks for some of us it seems the stunt works for the brother and I can assure you that we shall witness more bum misdemeanours...

Akon demands to come with 50 Cent

CAPTION: Fiddy a.k.a 50 Cent or Curtis Jackson

The showbiz shed is packed full of class and so it makes it hard for anybody to decide on which artiste to bring to Uganda to perform.
You might think Fat Joe is good, yet Busta Rhymes is better and or Shakira can be a better deal ahead of the rest.
But now, we are in the corner after meeting Akon and he demanded that in December (when we want to bring him to Uganda) he would be embarking on a joint tour with 50 Cent.
So imagine our shock, he wants us to pay $250,000 for one show in Kampala featuring him and Fiddy.
Actually, the pair will perform in Dubai for $460,000 but you have to consider the saying, “All men are equal but some are more equal than others…” and as I see my Ugandan people, you don’t need to make life complicated for them.
If you pay $250,000 (around Shs400 million) to Akon and Fiddy, it means you need to charge not less than Shs80,000 (ordinary seating) and Shs150,000 (VIP section) at the concert.
Is that a good deal?
Anyways, we have other options and it could be Rupee to perform come October 20 as we launch the Uganda Fiesta. Rupee is the guy of Tempted To Touch and One on One hits.
So consider us still undecided because if you look at the issue of 50 Cent, by December he could be the chart leader.
You know, he is going to release his latest album in September. The album features collaborations with Justin Timberlake, Timbaland, Akon as well as Mary J. Blige and there is no doubt he would be taking charts by storm, so he will be leading at that time.Maybe, it might work but we need to think again.

Montell Jordan lands at Entebbe at 7 p.m.

CAPTION: Montell and son Sydney

Tomorrow is D-day when rumours will turn into a real story as American singer Montell Dusean Jordan lands at the Entebbe Airport.
Of course many of you know he will be here to curtain-raise for Blu*3 and I don’t need to explain more. The show is slated for Saturday at Lugogo. Entrance fee is Shs10,000 (in watching for all) and Shs30,000 (VIP section).
But man, this is not an advertising blog, so I better get back to serious business.
Well, the 6’ 8” (2.03 m)-tall crooner will land at Entebbe at 7 p.m. aboard KLM and I can assure, I will be there so watch the space.
You know, I’m yet to know if he is travelling with his spouse Kristin Hudson and or their two children Sydney & Skyler.
Since Kristin has co-produced on some of his albums, there is a high chance of coming with her but, as I know Ugandan girls, eh...Mmhm!
I’m sure they gonna show him “this is how we do it” in Uganda.
Bambi, no fighting!

I’m quite sorry!

So, now you know why I have not been posting stories on this blog! I have been away and I ask for your forgiveness but I’m back to serve you. Just have a taste of the latest flavoured gossip I have got for you today.

So why did Otafiire meet Ashraf?

I had just about gotten bored of speculating about what is behind the scenes of Ashraf Simwogerere’s new movie The Honourable.
But speaking remarkably candidly to Rafshizzle, the chubby actor has cleared things up for me once and for all.
When speaking about meeting minister of local government Maj. Gen. Kahinda Otafiire in his office on Workers House on June 29 at 2 p.m., the actor said the meeting was not about the new movie The Honourable “but another upcoming controversial feature film titled Night in the Day.”
Ashraf says he had sent a proposal to State House for the sponsorship of the film that would disclose some of the brutal deeds by former presidents Obote and Amin that “forced” President Museveni into the bush.
“If someone was killed at 3 p.m. in town, it would look like they were in the wrong because the curfew required people to leave town as early as 2 p.m.,” Ashraf said, “In other words it was a night in the day.”
However, the story of the making of the film took another twist when FDC learnt of the script and yet they think there is nothing good that should be shown about the current government.
Consequently, FDC invited Ashraf and promised to sponsor the making of the film as long as he agreed to have the opposite of the story and also change the title to Day in the Night---showing people who stealthily rob the country in the night when everybody is sleeping.
And when Otafiire knew of the Ashraf – FDC meeting, he called him urgently to his office and told him not to even try to meet FDC again.
Ouch!
For all the developments, watch this space because I will keep you posted.

Seeing Conrad Nkutu in the US

I spy with my little eye...and who do I see?
Former managing director of Monitor Publications Limited, Mr Conrad Nkutu leaving Uganda heading to the United States of America last week.
At first I failed to get it, because I thought the man was supposed to be arranging his new office in Nairobi but then I learnt that he was given a month off and he decided to go on a holiday in the US.
You know, he has brothers there.
And he left without his wife.
Strange, I also know. But that is how it seems to work.
Who said, I went with mine?
Eh, mpozzi my trip was for just two days.

Singer Refigah in fatal accident

The only thing that joins artistes and cars is accident!
Kenyan artiste Yusuf Noah, commonly known as, Refigah has been discharged after two weeks in hospital.
Refigah is popular in Uganda for his song BannaKampala featuring Buchaman.
The Kenyan baritone-voiced singer was involved in a serious car accident two weeks ago late in the night as he headed back to Nairobi from Kisii where he had staged a show at Club Oxygen.
The accident took place at a village situated 20 kilometres from Kericho town.
In the car he was with his back-up singer Maurysha, his driver and two bouncers and they were all admitted with injuries.
However, after undergoing serious treatment, they all left the hospital.

I went to US, so what?

CAPTION: Akon performs in Dar es Salaam last year. Photo by Rafsanjan





The only thing that I’m scared of these days is not living up to the expectations of God and maybe my mum as well.
Some people are desperate. They should be talking about their problems, not whether I will be able to bring in Akon for a show in Uganda…I mean, it was me who chose to say I wanted to bring one of the biggest stars from Hollywood to perform in Uganda and it is up to me to see that my word comes to pass.
Eh! Was I quarrelling?
Kind of?
Sorry people, I just wanted to make a point that whether you think I can or can’t bring Akon, the truth will remain that I flew to the United States of America last week and met with artistes like Akon, Busta Rhymes and Ken Rogers.
On the sponsorship card of Tanzanian tycoon Joseph Kusaga, we left Dar es Salaam on Wednesday July 4 with his younger brother Godfrey and another white and friend of Akon called James Kinsey and we headed for Atlanta.
What I can say is that right now I’m doing a study on five artistes, Akon, Busta, Ken Rogers, Koffi Olomidde and Rupee and whoever happens to be the greater deal is to feature at the first ever Uganda Fiesta, a version of Tanzanian (annual) Fiesta. The Tanzania Fiesta is organised by Kusaga who also owns two radio stations including the popular Clouds FM and a TV station.
We want the event to take place on the weekend after the Muslim holly month of Ramadan, which is expected around October 15. That means the event is slated for October 22---two weeks to the Pam awards main ceremony.
Every arrangement is subject to change.
I know most of you would like to know a few things about Akon and Busta. Anyways, Akon’s doormat is green and he prayed five times a day for the day we spent at his house negotiating the deal. He has two studios in his house; one with traditional instruments like drums and percussions and the other studio has modern electric instruments. Actually, he played the drums and started singing and he told us he could make a hit in what he was doing (in a minute)…we believed him because we were overwhelmed and for Busta, I didn’t talk to him though I heard what he was saying and he told our trip leader that he could only come to Africa for $12,500 per show.
Now, that seems enough of an explanation because I don’t think I must prove something here…for all this time people have trusted me for telling the truth and I don’t think I would change just because people have to believe I have ever been in the US.
I went, period!
I’m not trying to save Uganda as a promoter or events’ organiser, it just ain’t me.
You know, in Uganda we follow the saying, “Let the devil take the hindmost” and a Ugandan man becomes as attractive as an attractive woman when he becomes successful and is publicly noted. Power’s an aphrodisiac.
Nowadays, anger is one of my most comfortable feelings because I have kids who already have a perception of me that says I’m for Kiwani.
Only time can prove them wrong.